When you start doing something from the heart, you find a rhythm that feels natural and eventually, this becomes a part of who you are.
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These days, I’ve had a lot of thoughts strumming through my mind. Some days, I have felt like not enough and the thought of only being half daph to someone makes me shudder. It’s hard to put your hurt and confusion into words. It’s very human to want to pretty it up. I know because I’m sitting here, punching each key on the keyboard trying to make this sound all poetic. But being human isn’t always pretty; it doesn’t always look how we want. So today, I’ll just be a person with you. An honest one. Some days I think…
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It’s been a while since I posted, but the summer sun in Australia has kept me very busy in this bubble of a place. The past 10 weeks have not felt real and I am not entirely sure if it has hit me that I am living down under. All I know is that this time last year, when I was thinking about my next move, I never would have imagined I’d end up here. Since then, I have soared above the clouds back and forth across the world and this view has been enough to make my heart outgrow…
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Every single year, we are a slightly different version of ourselves. It’s like there is a constellation of experiences scattering and rebuilding us—altering us in some way. We stumble, we grow and we learn. If I learned one thing last year is that things can go from absolute shit to true magic. The end of 2016 was a strange one for me, filled with a haze of self-doubt and an anxiety that I can’t quite explain. I was a mess, that year was a mess. But I needed that mess because it culminated in an epiphany that has made 2017…
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It’s my first time living in New York City. I’ve always seen it in the movies, watched its glistening greatness from a distance. In the movies, everyone starts out small—they have a big dream and maybe two pairs of shoes to their name. They wander into the vast city, a nobody. But then 60 minutes into the film, they’ve stumbled into the right person at the right time. They’ve fallen in love and then their closet is totally revamped. They’ve made it. Then the happy indie song plays as the credits roll and we’re sure that one day we will…
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In Japan, there was this sweet Korean girl that I worked with. One day, she came to the office wearing a black t-shirt that said, “maybe love is in New York City.” I asked her if she had been to New York before and she said, no. But ever since she was little, the Frank Sinatra tune had her fantasizing about this life in the concrete jungle. And now I am moving to New York City and that has me thinking, maybe love is in New York City. This sort of romanticism for the city might trigger some eye rolls.…
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In 2015, I stayed single for nearly 365 days. In 2016, I somehow quickly forgot everything that I taught myself in that romance free year. Maybe some of you are in happy relationships, but can still relate to this—some relationships are so powerful that they can throw even the strongest of people off-balance. In my case, I found myself dissatisfied, wanting more, doubting, and thinking, thinking, thinking. I found myself feeling lonely in love. The end of 2016 was a bit stormy as my relationship practically fell of a cliff. It broke my heart and I carried that ache around…